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What my wife said, on noticing that about 20 Coles workers were all stocking the same aisle,

"It’s like the store’s been flooded with Oompa Loompas!"


She formed an opinion on a model in the Suicide Girls book.

"She looks like she talks too much."

From Jen


He might like his iPhone a bit too much.

  • Her: You and your robotic girlfriend... I'm so glad that phone doesn't have a vagina.
  • Him: Maybe there's an app for that.
  • (From Abigail)


He is an ideas man.

"A drive-thru cemetery? You can spill your 40s and throw your flowers all in one shot."



At the end of their very first date, as she walked out the door, she said something very special.

"Remember, it’s not rape if you yell ‘SURPRISE!’"

-From Trevor Risk

Something every lady wants to hear from her man.

"You have Hobbit feet. They’re not long like Hobbit feet … but they’re wide like Hobbit feet. That’s cute.”

- From Alessandra


He's 33.

  • Him: All lions are males
  • Me: Where do baby lions come from then?
  • Him: Then what are tigers?
  • Me: Stripey
  • Him: No, there's no such thing as a female lion. Thats why they call them the King of the jungle. Not the Queen of the jungle."
  • – From B