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What my wife said, on noticing that about 20 Coles workers were all stocking the same aisle,

"It’s like the store’s been flooded with Oompa Loompas!"

*16

She formed an opinion on a model in the Suicide Girls book.

"She looks like she talks too much."

From Jen

*5

He might like his iPhone a bit too much.

  • Her: You and your robotic girlfriend... I'm so glad that phone doesn't have a vagina.
  • Him: Maybe there's an app for that.
  • (From Abigail)

*2

He is an ideas man.

"A drive-thru cemetery? You can spill your 40s and throw your flowers all in one shot."

Via http://twitter.com/johnamend

*1

At the end of their very first date, as she walked out the door, she said something very special.

"Remember, it’s not rape if you yell ‘SURPRISE!’"

-From Trevor Risk

Something every lady wants to hear from her man.

"You have Hobbit feet. They’re not long like Hobbit feet … but they’re wide like Hobbit feet. That’s cute.”

- From Alessandra

*8

He's 33.

  • Him: All lions are males
  • Me: Where do baby lions come from then?
  • Him: Then what are tigers?
  • Me: Stripey
  • Him: No, there's no such thing as a female lion. Thats why they call them the King of the jungle. Not the Queen of the jungle."
  • – From B